My daughter, Christina, told me today that Simon Cowell believes that after a person turns 50 they can pretty much get away with saying ANYTHING! Think I'll test that theory!

These are some of the things I'd like to say!

To my doctors:

I'm pretty sure you got your medical degree from an online college founded by Dr. Doolittle!

Look it up in the dictionary or watch a few episodes of Grey's Anatomy!

You NEED your patient's previous medical records!!

You're an idiot!

To my mechanic:

In order to hear the noise, you must start the car.

In order to feel the vibration, you must drive the car.

I wouldn't drive an hour to bring the car to you if there were nothing wrong with it!

You're an idiot!

To the cashier and bag boy/girl at the grocery store:

I'm the customer so speak to me and not to each other!

Do not put canned goods and bananas in the same bag!

Stay in school!

You're both idiots!

To the people at the liquor store:

Having a cop stand at your front door during business hours does not encourage more sales.

There is no substitute for Bailey's Irish Cream.

Thank you for requesting my ID for so many years after I was legal.

You're working at a liquor store where you stand a good chance of getting robbed and killed so you're obviously an idiot!





To the United States Government and all its branches:

You're all idiots!